January 2012
17 posts
I've gotten back into the habit of wearing ties
Today I wore a ketchup red shirt and decided on an olive, (matching) red, and antique white flowered tie. It wasn’t the sharpest combo ever, but when I looked in the mirror to admire myself it seemed to work. I’m hardly a dandy, but I like to look good because women spend an inordinate amount of time staring at me. It’s my little gift to them.*
Those of you in New...
Has anyone else seen the previews for The Iron...
“Holy shit, that looks like utterly craptastic acting by Meryl Streep!”?
…and critics are fawning over it…
She’s probably a very nice person, but yikes.
Is this right, size wise?
Small: Snot
Medium: Booger
Large: Boogersnot
Please layout your snot scales. This is important business!
Funniest night on tumblr that I can remember
Good luck to the Sushis and their little wasabi.
1 tag
I hope Jezebel doesn't just have gas!
Jezebel and Sushi are having their wasabi?
What, hot combined with sushi is wasabi, right? Plus, doesn’t wasabi sound like Japanese for baby? Well, any Japanese word would sound like that to me…
Very exciting!
Portlandia New Episode on Hulu... →
Yeah, you’re all over that shit…I know you are, you rapscallions.
1 tag
smartasshat replied to your post: Every weekend has fireworks where I am.
We’ve always been at war with East Derry.
You should be at war with Windham.
1 tag
donthenerd replied to your post: Every weekend has fireworks where I am.
Iit must be a NH thing. I get it here as well. Oddly enough, last nights sounds gave me the thought I was in the midst of a neighborhood skirmish as well. I also live on the border of two towns, but on a river. Anyways, a happy new year to you!
Ever since they legalize fireworks it seems that every tenth person has some...
Every weekend has fireworks where I am.
It’s just some peculiarity about where I live. I don’t know if I just happen to live in the highest per capita fireworks store owners per square centimeter area of the world, or if it’s just some secret explosion worshiping cult that has bought up the homes, but there are fireworks every weekend. This isn’t a special occasion. Well, it is, being New Year’s and all...
December 2011
48 posts
1 tag
pufflepie replied to your post: The windows of our homes
Maybe my favourite piece you’ve written, I love the stripes from the windows that leave those magic patterns. I love the way light “plays” anytime and get’s me questioning reality. Oh and Happy New Year friend xxx
Thank you! Every thought seems to have its own prism, of sorts, which is both enchanting and disenchanting at the same time....
1 tag
alter-ed replied to your post: The windows of our homes
I live in a 1925 Arts & Crafts. Each of the 2 front formal rooms have one whole wall of windows. The Parlor (as I call it) still has all its original old glass in almost all of them. The world outside it is wobbly and warped. It’s my favorite room.
I envy you! What a incredible movement that was for architecture. I’ve always...
The windows of our homes
no longer distort the perception of the outside world. The glass is manufactured too well now. I don’t know how they do it, exactly, but only the glare seems to interfere with how we see things through them. Even that is going away. It used to be that windows, at least those in the farm house I grew up in, were imperfect. The light would play a bit as it traveled through those windows. The...
I forgot my best joke to the drug test lady
I asked her “Do you have any magazines?” as I was toting the jar into the little bathroom.
That poor nurse.
4 tags
1 tag
ruthakers replied to your post: I had to take a drug test for my new job
I was just talking to someone today about hair follicle tests and how people are using AJAX and hot water on their scalps for like 3 hours to pass these things but like okay you pass at the risk of dying of head cancer. So dumb.
Did you hear about the NFL (I think?) player who was caught with the fake wang in his luggage a...
1 tag
redcloud replied to your post: I had to take a drug test for my new job
Wait, was it prescription-strength eggnog?
No, just the regular street corner eggnog. I think it was cut with baby…hold on one second…oops…laxative.
1 tag
cwj replied to your post: I had to take a drug test for my new job
Bullshit. No way you just had a glass or two.
It was just that much! It was intravenous though. It took forever to push down that plunger.
2 tags
I had to take a drug test for my new job
Which is always awkward (and a requirement I personally disagree with, but if it saves the company X percent on insurance premiums, or whatnot, then I wouldn’t mind if it were voluntary). To make it less awkward I deadpanned to the nurse that I was worried the eggnog I drank was going to show up. She chuckled, at first.
“Does it test for that?” I asked in a subtle, quivering...
I just watched 50/50
and now I’m a laughing, crying mess. There was a snot bubble. It happened. I’m not going to try to deny that.
What an amazing movie. The pacing is a little odd—the first 50 minutes flies by, then it packs so much into the next half hour that it slows down. That doesn’t make sense intuitively, but that’s how it seemed. If you haven’t seen it yet, make sure you...
1 tag
1 tag
The John Blog: Truthful Tuesday →
thejohnblog:
This may be some what controversial.
I feel a bit uncomfortable posting it.
It may make the great ‘Eggnog War of 2011’ look quaint.
But we watched ‘Return Of The Jedi’ last night, as I scored the blu ray of the original trilogy, and it reminded me…
I love the shit out of some Ewoks.
I know….
I’m going to get violent. EWOKS SHOULD BE CHOKED TO DEATH, THEN KICKED...
I've already sold two extra presents to family...
Nice doin’ business with you, suckers!
I can’t decide if I saved Christmas or completely went against every principle of the holiday.
Now watch them give the presents to me…
If you want an odd, funny, yet disturbing movie to...
then the Greek film Dogtooth (Κυνόδοντας) will do the trick. Absolutely bizarre. It’s about two parents who keep their kids trapped within their compound, never letting them leave—the kids are probably somewhere around 20 years old. It’s outright mind twisting, absurd, sad, funny, weird, off-putting, endearing, and everything in between. I’m still unsure what to make of it,...
GoDaddy withdraws SOPA support in face of massive... →
apophatic:
I’m pretty sure this is the only time the words GoDaddy, Withdraws, and Massive have ever been used in the same sentence.
And….this is where I say “Bullshit.” A public declaration of their withdrawal of support for SOPA means nothing without an equally tenacious effort to defeat the bill as they made to get the bill drawn up and passed in the first place. GoDaddy...
2 tags
Three words: Breast Egg Nog
“Apparently I trade on my good name, and therefore there’s a public interest...”
– Hugh Grant, quoted in this article:
‘Privacy is for paedos’: The Leveson inquiry so far, in quotes | Online Journalism Features | Journalism.co.uk
(via indefensible)
I love Hugh Grant. The guy has such a thick hide, and never shies away from some good self-effacing humor.
1 tag
dolanite replied to your post: The interview resulted in
Feel better! You just helped me to discover my Indian name.
“Little Boobs, be nicer to your step mother, Big Boobs Little Ass!”
1 tag
rolandslinger replied to your post: The interview resulted in
As I get older and older, i’m learning that I love the natural breast more. Big and small.
It depends how it was done, but I’m usually firmly (or not as firmly, as the case requires) in the natural camp. But I’m not enough of a stud to really complain about what a woman chooses to look like naked.
1 tag
susanimate replied to your post: The interview resulted in
Miserably employed or miserably unemployed? No contest. Take the money. Congrats. Too bad about that third nipple. I’d have kept it and maybe even asked for another. You can never have too many nipples.
It really is weird that we don’t have more backup nipples. I mean, one razor blade slip during some rough play, and you’re...
1 tag
mrsbadcrumble replied to your post: The interview resulted in
I was in that situation with my last job. (The misery, not the boob job.) I took it, suffered through it and found another one, the right one, while I was getting a paycheck, fwiw.
Yeah, there’s nothing better than having the security of a job while looking for a better fit. They even asked me about that, considering that...
The interview resulted in
a job offer right off the bat. I have to spend the next week deciding my fate: Misery or unemployment. It seems almost unfair to think about not taking a job in these lean times—I need the cash flow.
One of the guys informed me that an ex of mine got a boob job. I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s as if a nice little pair a boobs just no longer exists. Like they died, or...
1 tag
iamjenn2 replied to your post: I’m interviewing for a job tomorrow
Kill them with kindness or ya know, don’t. Good Luck??
They need me more than I need them, so I think I’ll try to kill them with stinky farts and see if they’ll put up with that.
I'm interviewing for a job tomorrow
with a team of people who may or may not dislike me, but I’d be a catch for them so they want to talk to me. It would be a bad, bad fit for me, and therefore I bet I’ll accept the job if offered…
I side with eggnog!
Fresh, homemade eggnog, or processed, pasteurized, homogenized, chemically enhanced eggnog. I don’t care. I side with eggnog.