This is what I was talking about earlier.

Hockey and Boston, I adore you.

The national anthem for the Bruins game is killing me right now.

Just the crowd singing.

I don’t understand what cause would be furthered by killing an eight year old kid

or blow limbs off of people raising money for great causes.

Step forward with your cause, you pathetic psychopaths. Let’s hear your best argument.

Let us all weigh your cause against an eight year old’s life.

Who among us has

t-shirts on Threadless? 

I want to get some t-shirts, but also want to support people and shit.

I think it’s befuddled that I would take a picture of it. 

enicoleh:

I mentioned this earlier, but IN CASE YOU DIDN’T SEE. 
Today my team and I launched the site we’ve been working on for the past month or so. Maybe more? Probably more. I’ve lost track of time. 
Anyways, there are tweaks to be made as well as improvements, but we’re happy to put it out on the interwebz to get some feedback. 
Coffitivity streams the ambient sounds of a coffee shop, which according to recent studies, have been proven to increase your creative cognition.
Check it out. Use it. Share it with your friends & colleagues. Thanks! 

I’m interested to try this tomorrow to see if it does give me a little more focus. The premise is neat—it’s worth a go. 

enicoleh:

I mentioned this earlier, but IN CASE YOU DIDN’T SEE. 

Today my team and I launched the site we’ve been working on for the past month or so. Maybe more? Probably more. I’ve lost track of time. 

Anyways, there are tweaks to be made as well as improvements, but we’re happy to put it out on the interwebz to get some feedback. 

Coffitivity streams the ambient sounds of a coffee shop, which according to recent studies, have been proven to increase your creative cognition.

Check it out. Use it. Share it with your friends & colleagues. Thanks! 

I’m interested to try this tomorrow to see if it does give me a little more focus. The premise is neat—it’s worth a go. 

(Reblogged from enicoleh)

Last night some dude mistexted me. I was off my game. It was prime trolling territory and I missed it.

Promoted (yay, big office…but wait)

The person I’m replacing leaves tomorrow and it’s a complex position. I. Am. Freaking. The. Fuck. Out.

I have shit scribbled on my crotch, there’s so much to remember.

I’m going to puke.

This is not normal.

(Reblogged from coyotesqrl)

This is a Siberian flying squirrel. I bet if you lick it, it tastes like sugary heaven, and if you smile at it, it will hop along beside you singing your favorite children’s song.

today is the mondayest monday ever

You guys just need to wear some more flair!

(Reblogged from ryanjjohn)
laurenashleybishop:

weakendupdate:

it’s time for another edition of WEAKEND UPDATE! jokes that were obviously too funny too funny for SNL to air. enjoy, but not too much, dying of laughter can kill you. 

Vice President Joe Biden on Thursday hosted a “fireside hangout” about gun violence on Google Plus. Which ironically most people will only log onto at gunpoint.
  
Two New Jersey men this week filed a lawsuit against Subway for selling Footlong sandwiches that were less than 12 inches long. Subway is expected to call as character witnesses, every woman they’ve ever slept with.
 
Insiders are saying that Lindsay Lohan has turned down an offer of more than 500,000 dollars to be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars citing the fact that she doesn’t really know how to be a star.
A new report shows that Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend Lennay Kekua also sent Twitter messages to celebrities such as Kim Kardashian’s brother Rob, who most likely wasn’t fooled because he deals with fake women every day of his life.
 
A restaurant in Philadelphia has created a new taco that replaces the shell with slices of bacon. Congratulations to Mexican food, adding its only 6th ingredient in history.
 
A number of new pubs opening around the country are donating their profits to charity. Which is perfect, because who can get mad at their husband when he’s getting drunk for cancer.
 
  
An attempted robbery of a Papa John’s in Montana was foiled when the robber started crying and a clerk gave the man a free pizza. The robber is said to have learned the unexpected tactic from his 2 year old daughter.
 
A tunnel in Norway was closed this week after a truckload of cheese caught on fire. The fire marshall said although it was tragic, there was nothing they could fondue.
 
A new report shows that the most common name for a dog in New York City is Max, and the most common name for a cat is My Only Friend.
 
 -lab

heeeeeeeey i wrote these

"…there was nothing they could fondue." 

laurenashleybishop:

weakendupdate:

it’s time for another edition of WEAKEND UPDATE! jokes that were obviously too funny too funny for SNL to air. enjoy, but not too much, dying of laughter can kill you.
 



Vice President Joe Biden on Thursday hosted a “fireside hangout” about gun violence on Google Plus. Which ironically most people will only log onto at gunpoint.

  

Two New Jersey men this week filed a lawsuit against Subway for selling Footlong sandwiches that were less than 12 inches long. Subway is expected to call as character witnesses, every woman they’ve ever slept with.

 

Insiders are saying that Lindsay Lohan has turned down an offer of more than 500,000 dollars to be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars citing the fact that she doesn’t really know how to be a star.



A new report shows that Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend Lennay Kekua also sent Twitter messages to celebrities such as Kim Kardashian’s brother Rob, who most likely wasn’t fooled because he deals with fake women every day of his life.

 

A restaurant in Philadelphia has created a new taco that replaces the shell with slices of bacon. Congratulations to Mexican food, adding its only 6th ingredient in history.

 

A number of new pubs opening around the country are donating their profits to charity. Which is perfect, because who can get mad at their husband when he’s getting drunk for cancer.

 

  

An attempted robbery of a Papa John’s in Montana was foiled when the robber started crying and a clerk gave the man a free pizza. The robber is said to have learned the unexpected tactic from his 2 year old daughter.

 

A tunnel in Norway was closed this week after a truckload of cheese caught on fire. The fire marshall said although it was tragic, there was nothing they could fondue.

 


A new report shows that the most common name for a dog in New York City is Max, and the most common name for a cat is My Only Friend.

 

 -lab

heeeeeeeey i wrote these

"…there was nothing they could fondue." 

(Reblogged from laurenashleybishop)

The shrubs all seem to be big fans of Kid ‘n Play all of a sudden. Weird.

We’re going to get what is called

THUNDER SNOW here. Thunder fucking snow. Thunder snow.

The most badass snow that there is.

Valentine’s Day, 1980

She was cute. Not hot, but cute. We were in first grade, so not being hot isn’t really a knock on her. Curly brown hair, a little button nose, and having a twin set her apart from the other girls. My stomach churned when I looked at her.

I made Valentines for everyone. The little silly ones that came In a book that you tore along their perferated edges to reveal their curved shapes. I wrote my name on each one but paid special attention to Heather’s. I can’t remember if I wrote anything more on it than my name but if not. I had wanted to and the desire was within the pencil strokes of my name, at the very least. I wanted to tell her so much. Not that a first grader can tell a girl much more than her hair smells nice, or that Hot Wheels are better than any other toy car brand, but if those were the things I would have been able to convey, I deeply wanted to. To her. Only her.

I had a chocolate covered marshmallow heart to give to her. I waited for my turn to walk around the room and hand out my cards, barely noticing when others placed their varied Valentine’s on my desk (one of which was from a curly haired blonde girl named Sarah who confessed her love for me since first grade senior year. I should have noticed Sarah more back then). Finally the time came and I rushed around the room, nervous and trembling in anticipation of Heather’s smile and our future together. Stopping at her desk I handed her the generic, mass produced piece of printed paper with my name clumsily written upon it (and possibly more—these facts are lost to time). Then I held out the chocolate covered marshmallow heart for her to see she was more than a mass produced thing in my eyes. She looked me square in the eyes, folded her arms and coldly stated—loud enough for the entire class to hear— “I don’t like chocolate and I don’t like marshmallow!”

That’s when I knew that Valentine’s Day was the worst day of the year.

(I like to have a chocolate covered marshmallow heart every Valentine’s Day to celebrate never having lived my life with Heather the heartbreaker.)