I had to take a drug test for my new job

Which is always awkward (and a requirement I personally disagree with, but if it saves the company X percent on insurance premiums, or whatnot, then I wouldn’t mind if it were voluntary). To make it less awkward I deadpanned to the nurse that I was worried the eggnog I drank was going to show up. She chuckled, at first.

“Does it test for that?” I asked in a subtle, quivering half whisper. 

“No…umm…eggnog?” Her head cocked slightly to the side trying to read me.

“Yeah, it’s just I had some last night. Not a gallon, or anything. Maybe a glass or two. Not too much, anyway.”

“You…you should be okay…”

“I hope so!”

Notes

  1. ruthakers said: I was just talking to someone today about hair follicle tests and how people are using AJAX and hot water on their scalps for like 3 hours to pass these things but like okay you pass at the risk of dying of head cancer. So dumb.
  2. redcloud said: Wait, was it prescription-strength eggnog?
  3. cwj said: Bullshit. No way you just had a glass or two.
  4. plemur posted this