I’ve gotten back into the habit of wearing ties
Today I wore a ketchup red shirt and decided on an olive, (matching) red, and antique white flowered tie. It wasn’t the sharpest combo ever, but when I looked in the mirror to admire myself it seemed to work. I’m hardly a dandy, but I like to look good because women spend an inordinate amount of time staring at me. It’s my little gift to them.*
Those of you in New Hampshire—or the surrounding areas—will surely nod when I say that it was frigid today. Not just cold, but the deep, bone numbing cold that comes with humidity. The moisture finds its way to your skin and soaks right in, bringing the energy sapping cold with it. So, like any good L.L. Bean shopping New Hampshirite (I personally call us “New Hamsters” although that hasn’t seemed to have caught on as of yet) I donned a fleece vest. I didn’t really pay attention to which I grabbed. It was a sudden decision borne from necessity rather than a sense of fashion.
It was a mustard yellow fleece vest so I looked like hamburger toppings. The only women looking at me probably stopped at McDonald’s soon thereafter.
*Yeah, I’m full of shit.**
**My other little gift to them is in my pants.***
***Yes, I said little.****
****I jest, but I’m no Peter North.*****
*****More like a Peter North by Northwest
